I read this book
many years ago, but recently reviewed my notes (and wrote them down here). The title is funny; however, the principles
found in this book have helped me make a lot of money over the years.
- In order to persuade someone
else to your way of thinking, you must align your mind with theirs.
- Resistance is diminished when
people agree with the presented point of view — affirm the individual’s
point of view.
- Steps to get to your outcome:
- Identify a
targeted problem / situation
- Help your customer see that
continuing with this problem / situation without addressing it will
ultimately cost him or her in painful ways
- Have your customer identify
a preferred / better outcome
- Have your customers identify
the consequences of this new outcome
- Confirm that this new chosen
outcome is what they really want
- Never tell your target he is
- No is an instant reaction and
doesn’t mean anything
- The more beliefs are
defended, the more deeply entrenched they become
- You must get the person to
call into question his beliefs and not push a new belief structure onto
him. Statistical evidence is almost
useless in changing beliefs.
- Law of consistency – When an individual announces that he is
taking a position on an issue, he will strongly defend that belief
regardless of its accuracy, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to
- Discover what your target’s
interests are, and if you’re not in tune with them, learn about them.
- Synchronize with your target
(match, mirror). Simply stated, be like your target. Synchronize voice and
- Reciprocity is one of the
strongest persuasion tactics. Give
away something of perceived value to someone and they will feel compelled
to do likewise.
- Admit weakness. To win
another person to your way of thinking, admit a weakness in your case
before the other person does. This makes you appear trustworthy and allows
your target to be at ease since you are doing his job of finding drawbacks
in the proposal.
- Find a common enemy. Nothing
binds two people, groups, or nations like a common enemy.
- Tell a story about someone
like your target. People instinctively put themselves into the story you
- Show respect and give
- Present the product or
service they should buy, last.
- Be specific. People
unconsciously feel better when they have extremely specific information.
- Listen! Pay attention to
every word your target has to say.
- Introduce scarcity. When we
find out that something we want is limited in quantity, time, color, or
options, our desire for it increases.
- Let them feel part of the
group. There is power in groups — we all like to belong.
- Build credibility by
acknowledging the other person’s point of view and position. Use “I
used to feel the same way until I found out that.. . “
- Feel, Felt, Found Technique.
“I understand how you feel about that, many of my customers once felt
the very same way, but when the looked closer, they found that . . .
- Use experiences. Get the person’s body involved first.
The mind will follow.
- Use Music. Music has a
biological connection to the mind and body that no one can fully explain.
- Limit choices. The more
choices one has the tougher it is to make a decision.
- People believe what they say,
not what you say.
- People will accept an idea
that is the result of their thinking, not yours. The trick is to help the
other person develop his own idea, which, of course, is really your idea.
Do this by asking questions.
- Mentally walk the person into
the future, a future hat is without the benefits you can provide — help
them see the pain.
- The best communicators are
often those who generate the most emotion, positive and negative, in
- A good story maxes out at 4
minutes in conversation. In a large
group setting, the story can go up to 7 minutes.
- Reveal you vulnerabilities,
inadequacies, weaknesses to develop trust and connection.
- Use emotion. People make
decisions emotionally first, then justify with fact. Generally, logic
plays a secondary role in the decision-making process. Therefore, using
emotion to persuade is far more powerful than using facts.